3 Things I’ve Learned From Trying Way Too Hard
3 crucial lessons that being an overworking perfectionist has taught me over the years.
Always on the grind. Always hustlin’ and bustlin’. That’s the life of a perfectionist workaholic for you. Speaking for myself, this is arguably one of the most toxic combos of personality traits out there when it comes to productivity and getting stuff done. I just work my butt off — and then some — because whatever I’ve done is not quite up to scratch.
After years of engaging in this noxious cycle of working too hard and trying to perfect and micromanage certain endeavors in my life, I want to share with you what I’ve learned from it all. Here are some golden nuggets you can take away about hard work, results, and productivity. Maybe it’ll save you some grief too. Or you could just enjoy the fact that you’ve already realized these truths!
1. Your Desired Outcome Is Not Always Guaranteed
This one was a hard-hitting reality check for me. When I first realized this, it was first a bit deflating and demotivating. Imagine putting hundreds, or even thousands of hours into something — your heart and soul! — and still not getting what you first sought after.
As an example, I remember there was this one woodwind soloist competition in my middle school that I wanted to win so badly because it was my final year in that school! My last opportunity to take the dub. I practiced this same classical song on the clarinet every single day for almost a year (Here’s a link to what it sounds like for those who are interested — it's definitely worth a listen). Almost perfected it. When it came to finals day, some random 10-year-old flute prodigy who had a diploma stole the show instead. I was devastated.
This is what I first thought: “If I put everything I’ve got into this, and I don’t get the result that I want, then what on earth am I supposed to do? Is this anything even worth pursuing?”
I guess there are 2 sub-takeaways that I learned from this:
- Life ain’t fair. Suck it up buttercup.
Or perhaps the more ‘positive’ one:
2. Don’t focus solely on the outcome. Enjoy the process too!
2. Abusing Hard Work Is Easy — Taking a Break Can Be Harder
You might think I’m crazy, but hear me out. If you’re a workaholic like me, you’ll get where I’m coming from. Even if you’re not, just recall that angsty feeling you get when you fall behind in your schedule or to-do list. Putting in the hard yards can be second nature sometimes for people who are accustomed to hard work (of course not always, but often enough). You get into a flow and rhythm of non-stop hard work.
Unfortunately, when this happens, it also often means that I never want to take my foot off the pedal. It’s always GO GO GO!
I hate to admit it, but I’m not a machine that can do endless hours of work and never get tired. And I’m sorry to remind you too, but I don’t think you are either (unless you are an actual machine reading this, then hi!). I’ve dismissed my brain and body’s signals to take a break countless times. Don’t try and bypass your physiological demands for a break — it does not end well.
Taking a break can seem like a plateau in terms of making progress in your work, but remember the saying: one step back to take two steps forward. I get that it can be hard mentally to stop and chill, but we really do need to recharge so we can get back to work fresh and ready to go again. Breaks are crucial to long-term sustainable effort and productivity.
3. It’s Okay To Fail
This one relates to my first point, but I’ve saved it for last because it has been my greatest epiphany gained from trying to exhaust my limits.
It’s okay to give it your all and still fail.
I don’t really like the words ‘fail’ or ‘failure’ because they have such negative connotations — as if they are completely bad and will bring nothing good for you at all.
Instead, we need a frameshift. We need to change the way we view failure and mistakes in general.
“There will always be rocks in the road ahead of us. They will be stumbling blocks or stepping stones; it all depends on how you use them.” — Nietzche.
I absolutely love this quote. It has got to be one of my favorites. Failing to achieve your goals or meeting obstacles on the way to success, are inevitable parts of the process. But they are more than just natural occurrences— they can help you if you are humble and wise enough to use them.
Every time I used to fail at something, I wanted to simply dismiss it. I didn’t want to believe that I was capable of failing after trying so hard. Failed a test? Chuck it in the bin. Failed a conditioning test for sport? Bad day, didn’t sleep enough, stars weren’t aligned… etc., etc.
But we don’t mess up without a reason, or two. We need to consider why we failed or made a mistake, and what we can learn from them.
Stack up enough failures and mistakes on top of each other, learn and propel yourself upwards and forwards with them, and you might just find yourself at the peak of success.
You need those ‘stepping stones to reach the top — don’t just see mistakes and failures as random, useless ‘stumbling blocks.’
Summary
Working way too hard has its pros and cons. I’ve learned a lot from this, and what I’ve just outlined are just 3 of the crucial lessons I’ve gained over time.
Know that:
- You won’t always get what you want from giving it your all
- Taking a break can be more difficult than just working hard
- Failure is normal, natural, and necessary for ultimate success
Can you relate to anything I’ve shared? What lessons have you learned from working way too hard? Feel free to share down below!
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